I went to France in the Autumn of 1998, and was instantly struck by the country.

For the first time visitor to Paris, the Eiffel tower is as impressive as you’ve heard. And for those shopping for souvenirs, large gangs of hawkers wait out the front to flog off the laser pointers and flapping bird models that have become synonymous with French culture.

And why not enjoy a cup of coffee and a croissant at a traditional French café? Oh, because you’d have to mortgage your house to do so, that’s why.

Notre Dame is, of course, the cathedral made famous by Victor Hugo’s novel and some American Football team. Travelers should beware however. Despite being described as “a prime example of gothic architecture”, the local priests are still surprisingly intolerant of any Goths attempting to enter. Apparently Anne Rice is still trying to get in.

For the art connoisseur among you, why not line up for 3 hours to see Leonardo’s masterpiece? Well, I’ll tell you. Because it’s stuck behind 3 inches of Perspex, is about half the size you thought it was and looks the same as the pictures in all the books.

Mont San Michel is one of the most impressive cities I’ve ever seen. Everything here is medieval, the shops, the walls, the streets and the attitudes. Visitors with digital cameras please beware that pictures of the locals constitute stealing their souls and you may be tried as a witch.