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| The birthplace of Western civilization, the pizza and motorcycle purse snatching. |
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| Pizza in Rome. Can be bought by the slice, metre or the mile depending on how hungry you are. |
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| They ranged from poor to average. Generally cleaner than the streets though. |
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| The Italians are an exuberant bunch, and gesticulation is an important part of their communication. Wherever you travel you will see friendly locals blowing kisses, shaking fists and raising middle fingers. I suggest you do likewise.
There is a famous saying, “when in Rome, do as the Romans do.” Unfortunately, within 5 minutes of acceding to this request, I was arrested for lewd conduct and deported.
Venice is everything it’s cracked up to be. Roving gangs of gondoliers prowl the canals looking for the fares to put their kids through college. If you play them off against each other, they’ll sometimes use their oars to recreate the famous “Kirk vs Spock” Star Trek fight.
The leaning tower of Pisa is indeed a tower, and it does indeed lean. One of the most common tricks here is to stand in front of the tower with your hands out to the side. The forced perspective of the photo makes it look like you are holding the tower. You should be warned however, that authorities take a dim view of trying the same trick with Michaelangelo’s statue of David.
Pompeii is also a truly amazing city. Visitors can marvel at the thousand years of history, and then completely ignore them, once they find the statue of the boy with the huge, erect penis. |
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We were climbing an awfully long staircase on the island of Capri, when we came up behind an old lady with a walking stick.
I passed her first, on the left hand side with about a metre to spare. Then, my friend Matt went to pass her.
Suddenly she lashed out with her walking stick, hitting Matt in the legs. She then continued to climb the stairs, holding her stick out at arm’s length so Matt couldn’t get past.
Matt continued patiently walking up the stairs very slowly behind the lady. No doubt his patience was bolstered by the knowledge she would expire of old age long before they reached the top. |
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"Honestly Fellatius, no-one is watching" |
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This story didn’t happen to me, but to a friend of mine who I trust, at least when it comes to stories.
He was traveling with a female friend in Rome and a moped rider tried to snatch her purse. Unluckily for the rider, she had a rather tight hold on it, and he was pulled off his bike.
Undeterred by his failure, he had the gall to stand there and abuse her for making him fall off the bike.
No doubt if he had succeeded, he would have returned to criticise her about her choice of lipstick. |
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From the look of sheer terror, scientists have extropolated that this man was petrified while watching "Everybody Loves Raymond" |
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58,103,033 (2005) |
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Rome |
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The Italian Lira
A$1 = 985 Lira (1/15,000 of a mafia contract) |
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1998 |
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Rome, Pompeii, Sorento, Florence, Venice, Capri
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4 There’s quite a few running around, especially at Pompeii. Apparently, the larger packs often end up raising abandoned human babies (at least if you believe the statues). |
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1 Roughly the same price as home |
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