The gateway between North and South America, Mexico offers the worst of both worlds.

Not quite sure. I had a spicy enchilada on my first day and my taste buds were anesthetized for the rest of the trip.

Better than expected actually. The "No paper in the bowl rule" is in effect but otherwise they were fairly good.

My visit to Mexico was confined to the Yucatan peninsula, a spectacular area consisting of Mayan pyramids, Spanish cathedrals and American college students. Despite arriving shortly after spring break, the only “girl gone wild" I saw, was a 5 year old, whose mother wouldn’t buy her an ice cream.

However, the Eastern coast of Mexico is blessed with some of the most beautiful beaches I’ve ever seen. Unfortunately, these beaches were also blessed with some of the most beautiful bronzed bodies I’d ever seen. These people were far too beautiful to talk to me and, in fact, risked contamination just by glancing my general direction. If I did take off my shirt, I was more likely to receive a harpoon to the gut than the adoration of my fellow beachgoers.

The Mayan pyramids are indeed, spectacular. The pyramid at Chichen Itza is still climbable, although the large crowds will make you long for the days when the only way to get to the top was as a human sacrifice.

Campeche is the city where Mayan gold was shipped out to Spain, and as such was subject to many vicious and brutal pirate raids. The streets would be filled with drunken, debauched foreigners, destroying buildings and having their way with women. Unfortunately, you have to go to Cancun for that now.

My travel agent rather unwisely booked me a 1 hour connection from Mexico city to Merida. Unfortunately, she didn’t reckon on the efficiency and professionalism of Mexican customs, which meant that by the time I had passed immigration, my plane had already left, or possibly just rusted away.

The upshot of this was that I got to spend another 12 hours in the enchanted wonderland that is Mexico City airport.

When I finally did arrive in Merida, all I wanted was a shower, which was rather unfortunate as the airline had lost my luggage.

So, I got to buy some wonderful “hecho en Mexico” products, including an impressive pair of sandals which disintegrated in less than a day. Actually, I was probably lucky they didn’t catch fire and explode.

I swear that they should use this as a marketing point. I don’t believe I could make something intentionally that fell apart this quickly.

For those of you interested, I got my luggage back a week and a half later, two days before I was set to return home.

 
Some young locals prepare to feed Mexico’s burgeoning slave markets
 
We were being seated on the flight from Mexico to Merida, when a rather large American man walked in. Unfortunately, he walked sideways as he was too large to go front first. The surprised stewardess took one look at him and exclaimed “Mui Grande!!!!” Normally I don’t make fun of fat people, being a little on the large side myself, but this just cracked me up. He eventually had to use two seats.
 
Jesus takes a break from holy communion to go crowd surfing
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

106,202,903 (2005)
Mexico City (Distrito Federal)

The Mexican Peso

A$1 = 8 Pesos (Enough slices of lemon for 7 Coronas)
2005
Merida, Tulum, Cancun, Isla de Mujeres, Campeche
1 Surprisingly low

1.2 Also surprisingly low. Personally I would have been happy if both numbers were raised higher.